


Angel (You Painted Me Golden)

by frostedcupcake (orphan_account)



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: F/F, Light Angst, Symbolism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 05:22:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,215
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18772051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/frostedcupcake
Summary: The tale of Lena and her beloved guardian angel, Kara, the woman she loves for a fleeting moment of bliss but must eventually learn to live without. Although Lena's fragile heart takes time to heal after Kara returns to the heavens, she decides to leave all regrets behind and cherish her memories with Kara forever.





	Angel (You Painted Me Golden)

A long time ago - it was so surreal, it could have been months, years, or decades before now - Lena had an angel. She was the pure, lovely kind, with feathery white wings and an innocent smile.

Her sweet angel's name was Kara, which meant "beloved." Kara wasn’t a very good protector, although she was certainly a great companion. Lena had to take care of _her_ , to make sure her perfect wings were never broken or injured. Kara’s blessings to Lena were her beauty, her incessant laughter, and the mirth she brought when her sapphire eyes crinkled in wonderment at the vast world around her.

Lena spent almost all her time with Kara, and they grew through the seasons and watched every sunset and sunrise together. She was the delighted witness to all of Kara’s awe and naive amazement at the natural world. In the wintertime, Lena had seen a delightfully rosy blush rise to Kara's cheeks as she danced in the snow, leaping into half-frozen puddles and laughing uninhibitedly up at the sky, almost as if to thank the heavens for its timely snowflakes.

During the winter, Lena had watched her gradually changing face, illuminated by the gentle glow of their loyal fireplace. Whenever they sat together at the fireplace, Lena knew Kara was marveling at nature’s ability to create light, to bring life to the lifeless and restore heat to long-dead planks of wood.

Kara had never said a word to Lena, for everything she needed to tell her was always expressed by her eyes - those endlessly blue eyes that enveloped her in a world of ocean, a world of bittersweetness and constant contemplation. The blue of her eyes was so deep, Lena sometimes felt as though she were witnessing every single emotion possible to humankind and beyond when she gazed at Kara.

And she could never look at Kara too long, as her mother had said a beautiful thing was only beautiful if it was fleeting. Lena had been taught that glorification was dangerous, that worship, reverence, and romanticization would only lead to disappointment.

She lost her angel during a time of darkness, on a freezing winter night when the sun set early, and the woodland animals had all fearfully retreated back into their cozy earthen homes.

On that cruel winter night, her angel floated away from her, slowly rising higher and higher towards the milky moon. Her translucent wings fluttered in the wind delicately, creating invisible patterns in the crisp, icy air. Kara’s sudden movement disturbed a nearby clump of flowers and released a ghostly scent of lavender.

As she left, Lena noticed a strange glint in her eye, reflecting the timid pink of the setting sun. Her ephemeral smile was a gorgeous glimpse of vivid coral, of fresh cherry, of soft autumn nights and sweet summer skies, of everything bright and good and pure in the world.

Strangely, Lena almost thought she saw a trace of sadness in Kara’s face, or maybe it was her own thoughtless hope that was obscuring her vision. She could not tell if it was imagination or truth as she helplessly watched a layer of tears rise to the surface of her pupils, a flowing river of regret that threatened to flood over.

At that point, she could not help but stare at Kara, to study those mysterious blue eyes one last time. There was still something odd about them that bothered her, and Lena waited for a revelation that never came. Kara's eyes flickered with something unidentifiable, and Lena accepted that her mortal self would not be able to comprehend the unbearable pain and bliss that an angel could experience in a single moment.

She sometimes wondered if Kara ever felt overwhelmed, if she ever resented the fact that she had to carry the burden of an entire universe with her wherever she went. All the struggles and joys and achievements and failures of life tugged upon her gossamer wings and would have mercilessly dragged her down to earth had she not been so strong.

And it was Kara's lack of fear that made her so strong, her willingness to handle every situation without a moment of hesitation. Yes, her angel was strong, strong and fearless, because she had never known true fear. The heavens where she had been born had always been safe and protected, and that was always what she thought the world was like. That was how Lena felt when Kara embraced her, the warmth of her arms encircling Lena like affectionate rays of sun tickling her skin. She guarded Lena from all potential evils, all the world’s malice, corruption, and sin. During these times, she would gaze up into Kara's eyes and spot small flecks of gold dotting the edges of her irises, beautiful little hints of heaven that deeply moved her.

Lena thought her angel would stay with her forever, but there was an inevitable force pulling them apart no matter how much they gravitated towards each other’s warmth. No matter how much they tried, they could never prevent the passing of time, the changing of seasons and the ending of relationships.

The night Kara left her, Lena laid on the ground alone, trapped in devastating sleeplessness for hours. She dutifully awaited the arrival of dawn, eager for the sun to greet her and announce to her that spring would soon come. All Lena wanted in those moments was a glorious spring day, to be able to see the hidden animals scamper out of their habitats and explore the wonderfully warm world around them.

Lena soon experienced her first sunrise without Kara, and she felt a certain fearful magic in being alone, in being dependent on her own thoughts to guide her. It was a light sensation, one that crept up tentatively from the pounding heart of her ribcage and was slowly released into her shallow breath.

Lena glanced into a half-frozen puddle and saw her reflection, confused and curious. She tried to smile at her mirror image but ended up wincing instead. When the corners of her mouth curved up, they appeared forced, as though the invisible strings of a puppet master were tugging her cheeks upwards.

When Lena finally fell asleep without Kara at her side, she dreamed of her, of her silken hair and dewy morning eyes. Whenever Kara had woken up beside her, her eyes had appeared green like grass, with a bit of icy blue in the corners that flickered and waltzed around in the changing light.

Sometimes, when the wind whistled past her ear, Lena imagined Kara being carried with the breeze, the air flowing past her wings as she descended down from heaven to be at her side once more. Lena hoped that when Kara returned to her home up in the sky, she was reminded of her second home with Lena. She hoped Kara always remembered and cherished the life they had lived together, blissfully entangled in each other's fates.

Lena hoped Kara still loved her, and valued the warmth of their memories despite the sharp edges they now inevitably possessed. She hoped she looked back and smiled upon all the time they had spent planted on the ground — a time when the clouds had seemed distant, and the sun almost untouchable.

**Author's Note:**

> The reason why Kara never speaks is because her character could be interpreted many different ways - the essence of an "angel" is not necessarily a person, but instead something that saves Lena and brings her happiness, fulfillment, and the eventual realization that she must learn to live on her own. For instance, Kara could be a manifestation of Lena's loneliness in the form of an imaginary lover, an example of the dangers of seeking perfection, or her innocence could show Lena's longing for her lost childhood. 
> 
> (These are just some extra thoughts about the story, but feel free to tell me all your own theories/interpretations!)


End file.
